An Olberman producer called Sarah about 1:30 to confirm the time of the interview and coordinate the location. Olbermann had agreed to be in Spleen, OH to conduct the interview live. He was not a happy man, he hated small towns populated with dumb hicks and this one appeared to be sub-par on the “ignerrunt” scale. Still smarting from his recent demotion, he was a major star and he didn’t like having terms of an interview dictated to him. She’d pay for that.

MSNBC secured a conference room at the Two Seasons Spleen hotel. Olbermann and his producer set up in a back corner, positioning lighting and camera in a most unflattering position for Governor Palin. The governor showed up with her secret service detail and her own camera crew. They were filming as she approached Olbermann and his producer. “What’s this?” Olbermann was angry. “You can’t record this, it’s a copyrighted product of MSNBC.”

Sarah was delighted at Olbermann’s anger; that was her intent. She intended to keep him off balance throughout the interview. She responded in a mock, sweet voice, Mr. Olbermann, if we don’t record, there won’t be any product.” Olbermann was livid, but had no choice but to accept the terms. He had called in favors and used all of his political leverage at the network to get this interview and he couldn’t just walk away from it. She had him by the jewels – round one, Palin.

Sarah immediately took the chair that was supposed to be Olbermanns. When he objected, she said that the secret service had specified that she sit there – so, Olbermann got the unflattering lighting – round two, Palin.

Olbermann went over the general format for the interview: a brief friendly exchange, a lead-in to questioning, ten or twelve topics and a closing statement. “May I see the topics,” asked Sarah. “Well, er, no – I want your answers to be spontaneous, off-the-cuff.” Again, Olbermann was getting angry – visibly angry. How dare she challenge his motives.

“Okay Keith, I can be spontaneous too, only you may not like my off-the-cuff replies.” Keith thought, what can she say that I can’t turn into a negative – she’s no match for me, no worries. “Okay Governor, let’s begin.”

“Rolling in three … two … one,” Keith introduced himself and Sarah, gave a brief background of Sarah’s path to the Vice Presidential nod, and started in. “Tell me Governor, why have your approval ratings fallen steadily over the last few months, are the citizens of Alaska dissatisfied?”

“Well Keith, I guess you could say that they’re like a woman scorned – like Di Arria, for instance. Di gave you very low scores in the romance department. Apparently she was like my constituency, unsatisfied.” Keith turned beet red and yelled “Stop tape!” “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Sarah’s crew continued shooting.

“Ad libbing, being spontaneous, isn’t that what you wanted?” Sarah said sweetly. “I’ve got a lot more “spontaneous” material, Keith.” Sarah had looked into Olbermann and found him like a cesspool inside. The man lied, cheated, and stole everything and anything to get to the top and would do no less to stay there. He had practically no redeeming value, but he was fertile ground for Sarah to harvest a number of tidbits of information that Keith wouldn’t want known.

“Okay, you can see the questions.” Sarah looked them over. Every one was either a “gotcha,” or worded such that whatever her response, he could give it a negative spin. Sarah said, “these are unacceptable in their present form.” “You can ask a general question on these same topics and I’ll answer them truthfully, but … don’t try that “gotcha” thing on me again, do you understand?” “Yes, okay, let’s go on.”

They went on for another twenty minutes, with Keith asking general topic questions and Sarah providing clear, concise answers. Running out of opportunities to embarrass or humiliate the Governor, Keith took one last shot. “I’ve heard rumors Governor that you had an affair a couple of years ago, did Todd ever find out?” There it was, one of those “when did you stop beating your wife” questions. Neither a yes or no answer would refute the premise that she’d had an affair. But Sarah was not fooled, “There was no affair, I’ve never been unfaithful to my husband, Keith.” “Can you say the same?” “Does Bruce know about George or William?”

It took a moment for her statement to sink in, then Olbermann exploded, “You supercilious twit,” Olbermann looked ready to attack. Sarah’s secret service guys moved between Sarah and Keith, at the ready. Keith bit his tongue and backed off. “Okay Governor, you’ve had your fun. I’ll be sure to mention what a pleasure this has been on my next show.” Round three, Palin.

Sarah returned to her room and became Mighty Mom. She caught up with Olbermann as he was leaving the hotel. He never saw her coming, she dropped down behind him and with her right hand, grabbed his neck in a viselike grip – not hurting him, but holding him firmly. She removed all of his clothes and duct-taped him to a lamppost outside of the theater a half-block from the hotel. She intentionally left his “package” uncovered for the whole world to see (quite pitiful, by the way). The matinee crowd would be exiting shortly and they’d get quite an eyeful. She then duct-taped his mouth and painted bright red lips on the tape, and the word “pig” on his chest, fleshing out the “lipstick on a pig” image. She flew up and hung his boxers on the top of the lamppost. That should raise his stress level a few notches.