Although she enjoyed a brief honeymoon after her selection, the MSM (Main Stream Media) started bashing Sarah in earnest by mid September. Obama’s opposition research joined forces with the leftist 527s and the Obama-loving media to dig up dirt on the Governor. And dig they did. They left no moose-dropping unturned to find anything of a negative nature about Sarah. And when they were unable to find any turdlings of substance, they made some up.
To be fair, we believe it necessary to present some examples of the vile statements made by the MSM and to evaluate them to see how many (if any) of them stand up to scrutiny.
Accusation: Sarah talks to “moosees”.
Reality: There may have been a mild profanity uttered if a moose was startled just as Sarah was about to squeeze off a shot, otherwise Sarah did not talk to moose. She did not speak moose. She was, however, fluent in Elk.
Accusation: A mother of five has no business in any public office, much less Vice President of the United States. She has no experience in the disciplines necessary for the job.
Reality: In fact, no one else is as qualified to ride herd on the petulant bureaucrats in Washington as a mother of five. Our Senators and Representatives act like spoiled brats who need someone to discipline them when they misbehave, to make them stand in the corner or go to bed without supper. Sarah plans to ground Chris Dodd and Barney Frank and take away their cell phone privileges.
Accusation: On their second date, Todd told Sarah “gas, a$$, or grass,” while some twelve miles north of Wasilla on his snow machine.
Reality: It was actually Sarah who told Todd that on their second date (he didn’t walk back).
Accusation: At Wasilla city council meetings (held on the stage of Wasilla High School), a mini-skirted Sarah was seen to cross and uncross her legs, giving the audience members views similar to Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. City council meetings always drew standing room-only crowds and it was rumored that scalpers sold reserved front-row seats for $125.00 and up.
Reality: Never happened - Sarah always wore her long woolies to council meetings because the stage of the gym was unheated and stayed at about 35 degrees. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.
Accusation: Governor Palin has been accused of shooting cuddly little cotton-tailed snow bunnies from a C-130 gunship armed with 40mm and 105mm cannons.
Reality: Not true, Sarah only used the National Guard’s C-130 to hunt opposition research attorneys and democrats, not snow bunnies.
Accusation: The governor was a member of a far right-wing survivalist group (the Ku Clucks Fan) who, when they practiced shooting, used targets made to look like African-Americans or Jews.
Reality: There was never any such survivalist group. Governor Palin was a fan-club member of a punk rock band called the “Ku Clucks,” and she was a groupie. It is true that she did use simulated targets for practice, but they were shaped to look like democrats (weasel-shaped).
Accusation: As Mayor, Sarah Palin wanted to ban certain books from the shelves of the Wasilla library.
Reality: This is partially true. Mayor Palin did want to ban a single book, the one by Nancy Pelosi, on the grounds that at the library’s cost of .99 cents, it was overpriced and would be under-read.
Accusation: As governor, Mrs. Palin requested hundreds of earmarks.
Reality: No, on the contrary. Sarah actually gave away hundreds of “earmarks.” They were dried and flattened moose ears to be used as book marks. They were distributed at book fairs to encourage young Alaskans to read.
Accusation: Governor Palin was reported to have demeaned community organizers by saying that they had no responsibility for anything, contributed nothing to their communities, and usually left their neighborhoods worse than when they found them.
Reality: Okay, and the point is …? Nothing to refute here, folks, move along.
Accusation: Governor Palin originally backed the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere,” but later opposed it.
Reality: The governor backed the bridge when it was originally introduced as the “Bridge to Sumwhere.” Sumwhere, Alaska was a town of 3,000 just north of Ketchikan. But when the location was moved south and revised to connect East Nowhere to West Nowhere, spanning a drainage ditch, she opposed it.
Accusation: Sarah Palin has no foreign relations experience.
Reality: Untrue. Before she married her husband (Todd), she had relations with a number of foreigners.
Accusation: She smoked marijuana.
Reality: She did smoke marijuana when it was legal in Alaska and she did inhale. That was when she developed a taste for Alaskan munchies like elk chili dogs, chocolate moose nuggets, and salmon lime pie.
Accusation: One of Governor Palin’s spiritual advisors is said to have been Rev. Thomas Muthee, a strange cultist “witch doctor” from Kenya who helped her win the governorship through witchery.
Reality: It is true that Pastor Muthee was a guest preacher at Sarah’s church on several occasions, but she took no witchcraft lessons from him. The little politician dolls arranged on her mantle are purely decorative, and the two dolls with pins sticking in them and the one with a “C” clamp on its groin have nothing to do with Sen. Biden and Charles Gibson checking into hospitals complaining of sharp, shooting pains.
Accusation: The Governor used undue influence to get her sister’s estranged husband fired from his job as an Alaskan State Trooper.
Reality: The trooper was not fired, but was unavailable for comment since he was hospitalized with penile trauma. His urologist said “I’ve never seen anything like it. His member was flattened and dried up like a moose ear bookmark. I don’t know how such a thing could have happened – either an moose stepped on it or it’s witchcraft.
Accusation: Governor Palin is accused of cross-dressing a moose.
Reality: The clueless press got the story completely wrong. They accused her of dressing a bull moose in a white tutu after Labor Day, when a hunter orange pantsuit would have been more fashionably appropriate. Everyone knows bull moose won’t tolerate tutus or a pantsuit, they much prefer 100% cotton.